Stuff is just stuff.
It can be replaced.
Money is just money.
It can be reearned.
Thats all for now. Just think about that.
Monday, April 23, 2007
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Boyfriend
Once again, I have a boyfriend.
Its intresting. I used to measure my life in boyfriends. Its not like I measured it in years, or days, or months. It was in boyfriends. Someone would talk about some event and I would say "Yeah, thats when I was dating so and so" My life revolved around boys. It revolved around feeling loved and feeling wanted and feeling like I was deseriable, at least to one person at that time.
I'm not sure I want to do that again.
Don't get me wrong. I really like boyfriend. He is a super awesome guy. He is tall and wonderful and sweet and a perfect gentleman. And I was his first kiss. And I can't break his heart, even tho it is inevitable at this point.
ugh.
more later.
Its intresting. I used to measure my life in boyfriends. Its not like I measured it in years, or days, or months. It was in boyfriends. Someone would talk about some event and I would say "Yeah, thats when I was dating so and so" My life revolved around boys. It revolved around feeling loved and feeling wanted and feeling like I was deseriable, at least to one person at that time.
I'm not sure I want to do that again.
Don't get me wrong. I really like boyfriend. He is a super awesome guy. He is tall and wonderful and sweet and a perfect gentleman. And I was his first kiss. And I can't break his heart, even tho it is inevitable at this point.
ugh.
more later.
Monday, April 2, 2007
Oh Boy
Thats right, ladies and gentlemen, there is a boy.
He is tall (6'2!) dark and handsome and he isn't a skinny stick boy... he is solid and makes me feel little bitty.
And school sucks.
And I've been sick for the last week.
And he and I talked for a million hours and I liiiikkkkeee hiiimmmm.
And thats about it.
^.^
He is tall (6'2!) dark and handsome and he isn't a skinny stick boy... he is solid and makes me feel little bitty.
And school sucks.
And I've been sick for the last week.
And he and I talked for a million hours and I liiiikkkkeee hiiimmmm.
And thats about it.
^.^
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Its intresting...
How fast things can change. And how you can see someone so diffrently after something happens.
Its funny how sometimes, how you think a person views themself and how they actually view themself are the same and diffrent at the same time. And how sometimes, your view on someone can change how they view themselves.
It really is intresting how much I've changed.
I really used to be the kind of person to shove my views upon other people. Boy, I was wrong for that.
And while I still do think I'm right most of the time, I am learning how to become tolerant of other people's views of the world. It is something that is hard. You have to put aside your pride and say "You have a diffrent view than me, and that is okay." But at the same time, you know that you think you are at least a little bit supirior becuase you have the view that you do. And you have to realize that that is okay. Agreeing to Disagree is more Agreeing that the other person is wrong. You always think that the other person is not right and you think that you are better because you are. Its not that I look down on people with views that are diffrent than mine, I just simply think that they are wrong. Well, sometimes.
Sometimes, I can see that diffrent strokes are for diffrent folks. Some people march to a diffrent drum and that is perfectly okay. Yes, some of my friends drink. Would I ever do that? No. Do I think drinking is right? No. But do I think they should do it? If they want to. I understand that everyone is inheratly diffrent, and I think that that is one of my stregnths. I know it sounds silly. I know it sounds like I am being superior to even you, as you read this, but more than anything I think that it has helped me realize that no, I am not better than you, merely differnt. If you have a diffrent view than me, yes, my view is right for me and BETTER for me, but your view could prehaps be the same for you. We as humans are all very ego-centered. We think that us, ourselves, are the most important people in the universe, and you know what? We are right. Each of us, our own selves, is the most important person around. We talked about it in my History of Psych class: Each person has their own little universe, and when something is not around that person, it simply does not exist. I totally agree. My views are right for me, because they are the ones that govern the universe in which I currently reside.
My roomate is probally trash talking me with one of her friends. That hurts somewhat, seeing as I am sitting here haveing an ephipany about how we can disagree and still both be right. Whatev.
It sucks that people think that because you a diffrent, you are bad. I don't mean wrong, I mean bad. Sure, you can think someone is wrong and not think them inhertly bad, but sometimes, when it comes to social and moral issues, you think that a person is bad because their view differ from your own.
Take for instance, someone in my religion who is liberal. This is a huge nono. Why? Because, well, they must be bad because they think abortion is okay and think gays should be able to marry, and becuase they think that the war isn't nessacarly right and because they question the govenment and its policys in some areas. Well, I am a liberal. I just don't tell anyone that. I think that as a Christian, we all have free will. And with that free will, each person has a right to decide what he or she wants. I think that if a person decides he is gay, that he should be able to have rights just like any other person. It is not my place to tell them that they are wrong or right: Sexual orientation is not a math problem where there is one specfic anwser for every problem. Some people were abused as a child. Some people have nuerons in their brain that are diffrent. Some people have chemical imbalnaces. Whatever the reason is behind them being gay, I have no way to say weather it is right or wrong. The same goes for abortion. How can I say, with total conviction, that a woman has no right to her own body? Or that a baby has the right, when not even resmbling a baby, to live or to die? I cannot take a stance on these issues, therefore I go with the decision that everyone has a right to decide for themselves. Me, personally? I don't know. I have never been faced with these issues in my life. I honestly can say that I don't think anyone who has not stood in the shoes of someone who has been shamed with the title of "fag" because they find a person of the same gender attractive and act upon those urges or has been labaled a "baby killer" after having an abortion because they can't afford to have a child, or because they were a victim of date rape can make the decision of weather or not these things are correct. Who are we to condem? Who are we to hate? If we hate, we only foster hate. What if I became a lesbian? Does that mean that you, my friends, my family, would hate me? Does that mean that because I made those decisions, or had that lifestyle thrust upon me, that I am nessacarly a horrible person who is going to hell? Me, whom you have known anywhere from years to days, is going to not recive eternal salvation? Do you have right to tell me that? Who does? You? Your group of friends? Your class at school? A polital party? A religion? Where does it end?
I understand not agreeing with something. I undrestand with thinking something is wrong. I understand that you have to have your moral convictions and stand up for what is right in your mind, but I don't understand condeming someone from being diffrent than you. I don't undrestand thinking that you are superior to someone because you hold a certian type of values and belifs. I espically don't understand thinking that looks, skin color or sexual prefence decide on who should get power in the world. That type of hate and ingornace is what casued the Holocaust. That type of hate and ignorance is what caused the LA Riots. That type of hate and ignorance is what caused innocent Gay people to die due to hate crimes. That type of hate and ignorance caused slavery. That type of hate and ignorance is what caused people to kill Mormons. That type of hate is what caused the fights in my highschool.
I just wish everyone could understand that being diffent is okay. That having a diffrent view than someone does not make you a bad person. That not agreeing is not the end of the world, nor the end of a friendship.
Love. Coexhist. Blend. Learn. Grow.
Remember:
We are all sons and daughters. We are all human. We all live in this world.
And we all have the right to choose.
Please, don't take that right away from people.
Let people live, and they will let you do the same.
Its funny how sometimes, how you think a person views themself and how they actually view themself are the same and diffrent at the same time. And how sometimes, your view on someone can change how they view themselves.
It really is intresting how much I've changed.
I really used to be the kind of person to shove my views upon other people. Boy, I was wrong for that.
And while I still do think I'm right most of the time, I am learning how to become tolerant of other people's views of the world. It is something that is hard. You have to put aside your pride and say "You have a diffrent view than me, and that is okay." But at the same time, you know that you think you are at least a little bit supirior becuase you have the view that you do. And you have to realize that that is okay. Agreeing to Disagree is more Agreeing that the other person is wrong. You always think that the other person is not right and you think that you are better because you are. Its not that I look down on people with views that are diffrent than mine, I just simply think that they are wrong. Well, sometimes.
Sometimes, I can see that diffrent strokes are for diffrent folks. Some people march to a diffrent drum and that is perfectly okay. Yes, some of my friends drink. Would I ever do that? No. Do I think drinking is right? No. But do I think they should do it? If they want to. I understand that everyone is inheratly diffrent, and I think that that is one of my stregnths. I know it sounds silly. I know it sounds like I am being superior to even you, as you read this, but more than anything I think that it has helped me realize that no, I am not better than you, merely differnt. If you have a diffrent view than me, yes, my view is right for me and BETTER for me, but your view could prehaps be the same for you. We as humans are all very ego-centered. We think that us, ourselves, are the most important people in the universe, and you know what? We are right. Each of us, our own selves, is the most important person around. We talked about it in my History of Psych class: Each person has their own little universe, and when something is not around that person, it simply does not exist. I totally agree. My views are right for me, because they are the ones that govern the universe in which I currently reside.
My roomate is probally trash talking me with one of her friends. That hurts somewhat, seeing as I am sitting here haveing an ephipany about how we can disagree and still both be right. Whatev.
It sucks that people think that because you a diffrent, you are bad. I don't mean wrong, I mean bad. Sure, you can think someone is wrong and not think them inhertly bad, but sometimes, when it comes to social and moral issues, you think that a person is bad because their view differ from your own.
Take for instance, someone in my religion who is liberal. This is a huge nono. Why? Because, well, they must be bad because they think abortion is okay and think gays should be able to marry, and becuase they think that the war isn't nessacarly right and because they question the govenment and its policys in some areas. Well, I am a liberal. I just don't tell anyone that. I think that as a Christian, we all have free will. And with that free will, each person has a right to decide what he or she wants. I think that if a person decides he is gay, that he should be able to have rights just like any other person. It is not my place to tell them that they are wrong or right: Sexual orientation is not a math problem where there is one specfic anwser for every problem. Some people were abused as a child. Some people have nuerons in their brain that are diffrent. Some people have chemical imbalnaces. Whatever the reason is behind them being gay, I have no way to say weather it is right or wrong. The same goes for abortion. How can I say, with total conviction, that a woman has no right to her own body? Or that a baby has the right, when not even resmbling a baby, to live or to die? I cannot take a stance on these issues, therefore I go with the decision that everyone has a right to decide for themselves. Me, personally? I don't know. I have never been faced with these issues in my life. I honestly can say that I don't think anyone who has not stood in the shoes of someone who has been shamed with the title of "fag" because they find a person of the same gender attractive and act upon those urges or has been labaled a "baby killer" after having an abortion because they can't afford to have a child, or because they were a victim of date rape can make the decision of weather or not these things are correct. Who are we to condem? Who are we to hate? If we hate, we only foster hate. What if I became a lesbian? Does that mean that you, my friends, my family, would hate me? Does that mean that because I made those decisions, or had that lifestyle thrust upon me, that I am nessacarly a horrible person who is going to hell? Me, whom you have known anywhere from years to days, is going to not recive eternal salvation? Do you have right to tell me that? Who does? You? Your group of friends? Your class at school? A polital party? A religion? Where does it end?
I understand not agreeing with something. I undrestand with thinking something is wrong. I understand that you have to have your moral convictions and stand up for what is right in your mind, but I don't understand condeming someone from being diffrent than you. I don't undrestand thinking that you are superior to someone because you hold a certian type of values and belifs. I espically don't understand thinking that looks, skin color or sexual prefence decide on who should get power in the world. That type of hate and ingornace is what casued the Holocaust. That type of hate and ignorance is what caused the LA Riots. That type of hate and ignorance is what caused innocent Gay people to die due to hate crimes. That type of hate and ignorance caused slavery. That type of hate and ignorance is what caused people to kill Mormons. That type of hate is what caused the fights in my highschool.
I just wish everyone could understand that being diffent is okay. That having a diffrent view than someone does not make you a bad person. That not agreeing is not the end of the world, nor the end of a friendship.
Love. Coexhist. Blend. Learn. Grow.
Remember:
We are all sons and daughters. We are all human. We all live in this world.
And we all have the right to choose.
Please, don't take that right away from people.
Let people live, and they will let you do the same.
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Catching up.
Woah Dang, So much to write about.
First, I should totally be writing my paper for my history of Pscyh class, but yeah. Its 1:33am on Sunday, and I just don't see that happening. I have to do it tommorow, tho. Or I'll be in some serious trouble!
First, I moved. I know, I know. My roomate and I had a big disagreement over her boyfriend. Basically, he is a self-righteous jerk who thinks I'm this horrible person. He is seriously just like, the biggest jerk EVER. Ugh. I don't want to elaborate at the moment because, well, I don't want to go to bed angry.
Elder broke my heart in the past month or so. He wrote me a letter saying that when he gets home he wants to party and not get into a serious relationship for two years. I don't want to be here when he gets back. I want to be in London. I want to be in New Zeland. I want to be in Mexico. I want to be in Texas. I pretty much want to be anywhere but here. Do you have any idea how hard its going to be for me to have him here, but not have him? It was hard enough before he was gone. I'm freaking sick of it. I need to just dear john him or something, but my heart is still with him, so its kindof a hard thing to do. I still write him every single monday and tell him whats going on and stuff, but his letters have become more and more infequent, which makes me super sad. I guess he is working hard and he is doing what he is supposed to, but the lack of letters makes me really sad.
David and I have been exchanging more letters, which is fun. I'm making him (and Elder) packages for Easter. FUN! Haha. They are going to be adorable. Dang. David is going to send me back a disposible camera I sent him full of pictures! I'm so dang excited! Its going to be the coolest when I get it back, whenever that may be. Hopefully within the next month. Word.
In other news, me and my (new) roomate, who we are going to call Roomate, are going to go to London next summer. Its basically going to be amazing. I hope we can go for at least two months. We need to figure out the cost of it and everything, but I know that I can afford two months, for sure. I want to see if there is some way to get a temporary job or something. I would love to stay the whole four months, but that may be a little bit excessive. We are def. going tho. I'm excited! Woo! Also, if we went for the whole summer, I wouldn't be here when David gets back, and that would make me sad. We've been writing about how we are going to hang out when he gets back and how we are going to cook and stay out late and talk on the grass. It'll be amazing. He said that its going to be cool getting to know eachother again. I totally agree. I'm excited!
Oh, and hi! Totally went shopping today. I spent a total of 180 bucks on clothes, then went to walmart and spent another 40 on hair stuff and movies and mouthwash and bandaids. Word. I got some freaking cute clothes tho. A red dress that is HAWT, some white pants and the cutest blue and white stripped shirt to go with it, a tshirt, a purse, some flip flops, a pair of earrings, and a skirt that is pretty much amazingly comfy.
OOOH! I bought tickets for the Rocket Summer show on friday! I'm soooo excited to go! I can't even tell you! AND I FOUND OUT that when I go home, they are playing with HelloGoodbye and if I don't go, I really think I'll just have to kill myself. I'm so dang excited. Its gonna be the sickest craziest most awesome show of all time EVER. Dang.
Um... I am really freaking tired. So I think I'll go to bed. But I'll try to update this more. YAY!
First, I should totally be writing my paper for my history of Pscyh class, but yeah. Its 1:33am on Sunday, and I just don't see that happening. I have to do it tommorow, tho. Or I'll be in some serious trouble!
First, I moved. I know, I know. My roomate and I had a big disagreement over her boyfriend. Basically, he is a self-righteous jerk who thinks I'm this horrible person. He is seriously just like, the biggest jerk EVER. Ugh. I don't want to elaborate at the moment because, well, I don't want to go to bed angry.
Elder broke my heart in the past month or so. He wrote me a letter saying that when he gets home he wants to party and not get into a serious relationship for two years. I don't want to be here when he gets back. I want to be in London. I want to be in New Zeland. I want to be in Mexico. I want to be in Texas. I pretty much want to be anywhere but here. Do you have any idea how hard its going to be for me to have him here, but not have him? It was hard enough before he was gone. I'm freaking sick of it. I need to just dear john him or something, but my heart is still with him, so its kindof a hard thing to do. I still write him every single monday and tell him whats going on and stuff, but his letters have become more and more infequent, which makes me super sad. I guess he is working hard and he is doing what he is supposed to, but the lack of letters makes me really sad.
David and I have been exchanging more letters, which is fun. I'm making him (and Elder) packages for Easter. FUN! Haha. They are going to be adorable. Dang. David is going to send me back a disposible camera I sent him full of pictures! I'm so dang excited! Its going to be the coolest when I get it back, whenever that may be. Hopefully within the next month. Word.
In other news, me and my (new) roomate, who we are going to call Roomate, are going to go to London next summer. Its basically going to be amazing. I hope we can go for at least two months. We need to figure out the cost of it and everything, but I know that I can afford two months, for sure. I want to see if there is some way to get a temporary job or something. I would love to stay the whole four months, but that may be a little bit excessive. We are def. going tho. I'm excited! Woo! Also, if we went for the whole summer, I wouldn't be here when David gets back, and that would make me sad. We've been writing about how we are going to hang out when he gets back and how we are going to cook and stay out late and talk on the grass. It'll be amazing. He said that its going to be cool getting to know eachother again. I totally agree. I'm excited!
Oh, and hi! Totally went shopping today. I spent a total of 180 bucks on clothes, then went to walmart and spent another 40 on hair stuff and movies and mouthwash and bandaids. Word. I got some freaking cute clothes tho. A red dress that is HAWT, some white pants and the cutest blue and white stripped shirt to go with it, a tshirt, a purse, some flip flops, a pair of earrings, and a skirt that is pretty much amazingly comfy.
OOOH! I bought tickets for the Rocket Summer show on friday! I'm soooo excited to go! I can't even tell you! AND I FOUND OUT that when I go home, they are playing with HelloGoodbye and if I don't go, I really think I'll just have to kill myself. I'm so dang excited. Its gonna be the sickest craziest most awesome show of all time EVER. Dang.
Um... I am really freaking tired. So I think I'll go to bed. But I'll try to update this more. YAY!
Friday, January 26, 2007
Happy
I am really happy.
Content with what is going on.
I think instead of going out tonight, I'm going to go to the library and enjoy some study time by myslef.
I have really awesome friends.
Ones here (Yoko, Steph, B-lyn)
ones elsewhere (mar, rad, lala)
and even ones i have yet to meet.
Friends are definatly one of the areas in life I have been blessed with. I can make friends pretty eaisly, and I can keep them when they are important and respectful to me.
Its wierd how truthful the "You never know what you had till its gone" statement is.
At least, thats how I see it.
As humans, I think we take everything forgranted, which isn't really a good thing, nor a bad thing since we all do it. I think that sometimes, we don't take time to listen to ourselves. We only listen to what others say about our situation. We always want someone elses advice, but the truth is, they aren't us and they can't give us the advice we want/need. We really have to look inside ourselves for this.
Example: I dated David my Junior year in High School. He was a senior. I think we were togehther 3 months. I really really liked the kid, and for once, so did my parents. He ended up breaking up with me because his best friend, Katie, hated me. whatev. it was pretty hard on me because I really liked the kid and the break up came out of left field.. the week before Valentines and the Sweetheart dance at school and everything. We still went to the dance, and that was super akward, and went out on Valentines, and it was the craziest night of my life. I had rehersal till 7, then we went out to dinner at one of our fav. restraunts and got italian gelatto and then we went to our park and ended up kissing. He gave me the best kiss of my life that night. It was the kind of kiss you see in movies. My knees got weak, time slowed, and in that moment everything was perfect. That was the last time I saw him for almost a year. Then, we went to lunch and to see a movie right before he left for college, then he left on his mission about a year after that. He is an all around good guy, other than the whole breaking up with me thing.
Anyways, the point of this story is that we started writing each other a couple of months ago. He has said that I am the reason he is on his mission, and that he wants to take me out to dinner when he gets back home, and in the letter/package i got today, he sent me a collage of pics from his mission (which is actualy totally cute) and in his letter he says, "it is true that you were a big influence in my life...in fact I talk about you a lot... like today I was talking ot Elder Wayne Christensen (my best friend for life) all about you... and I realized that you have been my favorite girlfriend/girl I know... even though we haven't really talked a lot since we broke up... " and the later says "so you're pretty much not even going to recognize me when i get home.. Elder Christensen, you know my BFF, has been showing me how to work out, and pretty much I'm going to be HUGE! In 17 months you're going to see me and be like OH, DANG! And not to be prideful or anything but you're pretty much not going to be able to resist me... HAHAHAHA" So yeah. I dunno. From my point of view, he sees now that I was pretty much the best girlfriend ever (well, I was. for real. i did everything for him!) and misses me and my awesomeness.
The complicated part: Elder.
David gets home 4 months before Elder. What if David and I start dating? Where does that leave Elder? I know that I am NOT waiting for Phil... I am just not going to get involved with anyone unless they are as good as him... and is David? Thats something that I don't know. I guess I have over a year to figure it out, since David doesn't get back for 17 more months, but its not like its something that I'm not going to worry about! Its akward, ya know. Do I tell David I have a missionary and ask him to back off a bit, even tho he's not really coming on strong or anything? Do I tell Elder what David said? Do I just go die? Who knows.
I do know that I really have to go pee and I'm going to take a bath and read my book.
Peace,
Sab
Content with what is going on.
I think instead of going out tonight, I'm going to go to the library and enjoy some study time by myslef.
I have really awesome friends.
Ones here (Yoko, Steph, B-lyn)
ones elsewhere (mar, rad, lala)
and even ones i have yet to meet.
Friends are definatly one of the areas in life I have been blessed with. I can make friends pretty eaisly, and I can keep them when they are important and respectful to me.
Its wierd how truthful the "You never know what you had till its gone" statement is.
At least, thats how I see it.
As humans, I think we take everything forgranted, which isn't really a good thing, nor a bad thing since we all do it. I think that sometimes, we don't take time to listen to ourselves. We only listen to what others say about our situation. We always want someone elses advice, but the truth is, they aren't us and they can't give us the advice we want/need. We really have to look inside ourselves for this.
Example: I dated David my Junior year in High School. He was a senior. I think we were togehther 3 months. I really really liked the kid, and for once, so did my parents. He ended up breaking up with me because his best friend, Katie, hated me. whatev. it was pretty hard on me because I really liked the kid and the break up came out of left field.. the week before Valentines and the Sweetheart dance at school and everything. We still went to the dance, and that was super akward, and went out on Valentines, and it was the craziest night of my life. I had rehersal till 7, then we went out to dinner at one of our fav. restraunts and got italian gelatto and then we went to our park and ended up kissing. He gave me the best kiss of my life that night. It was the kind of kiss you see in movies. My knees got weak, time slowed, and in that moment everything was perfect. That was the last time I saw him for almost a year. Then, we went to lunch and to see a movie right before he left for college, then he left on his mission about a year after that. He is an all around good guy, other than the whole breaking up with me thing.
Anyways, the point of this story is that we started writing each other a couple of months ago. He has said that I am the reason he is on his mission, and that he wants to take me out to dinner when he gets back home, and in the letter/package i got today, he sent me a collage of pics from his mission (which is actualy totally cute) and in his letter he says, "it is true that you were a big influence in my life...in fact I talk about you a lot... like today I was talking ot Elder Wayne Christensen (my best friend for life) all about you... and I realized that you have been my favorite girlfriend/girl I know... even though we haven't really talked a lot since we broke up... " and the later says "so you're pretty much not even going to recognize me when i get home.. Elder Christensen, you know my BFF, has been showing me how to work out, and pretty much I'm going to be HUGE! In 17 months you're going to see me and be like OH, DANG! And not to be prideful or anything but you're pretty much not going to be able to resist me... HAHAHAHA" So yeah. I dunno. From my point of view, he sees now that I was pretty much the best girlfriend ever (well, I was. for real. i did everything for him!) and misses me and my awesomeness.
The complicated part: Elder.
David gets home 4 months before Elder. What if David and I start dating? Where does that leave Elder? I know that I am NOT waiting for Phil... I am just not going to get involved with anyone unless they are as good as him... and is David? Thats something that I don't know. I guess I have over a year to figure it out, since David doesn't get back for 17 more months, but its not like its something that I'm not going to worry about! Its akward, ya know. Do I tell David I have a missionary and ask him to back off a bit, even tho he's not really coming on strong or anything? Do I tell Elder what David said? Do I just go die? Who knows.
I do know that I really have to go pee and I'm going to take a bath and read my book.
Peace,
Sab
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
With Valentines coming up and all..
I thought it would be a good time to name all the "Valentines" I've had and tell ya where they are now.
Last year: I didn't really have one. I think I worked on Valentines. I don't even remember. Psh. I was working 2 full time jobs. I had no time for boys. I wish I hadn't gotten involved with boys at all until... ever. hah. My life would be so much eaiser.
2005: David. Well, kindof. He broke up with me the week before Valentines, but we still went out on the actual date. It was really odd, since we were allready broken up, but we kissed. And it was the single best kiss I've had in my entire life (up to this point) It made me weak at the knees like I have't been since. We went and laid in the arts center park and listened to all the cars go past, and a firetruck went by, and we laughed for what must have been ten minutes. It made breaking up eaiser, but so much harder at the same time, because I couldn't see HOW he could kiss me like that and still not want to be with me. It hurt, but we are friends now. He is on his mission.. he'll be back in 16 months. We write and its fun and I'm sending him a valentines present. hah. Anyways, I had an orch rehersal that night, and then we went to umm.. its closed now, oh, BDs because it was the most amazing food ever. And then we got icecream at Pachigioes and sat outside and talked for a while. The weather wasn't too cold. It was nice. Then we went to the park.. and yea. After that, we went to my house and finished up his application for BYU. He recently wrote me that I am the reason he is on his mission, and had I not pushed him to go to BYU he doesn't know where he'd be. That made me feel awesome.
2004: Dylan. So, me and Dylan dated for a year, a week and a day. He is the only boy I've ever loved for sure. I think I love Phil, but it may just be as a friend. I think I'll have to wait till he gets back to know for sure, but I KNOW I loved Dylan. He is an amazing guy. We are SO similar, and he is still one of my most amazing friends. He understands me because we share the same faith, but he gets that I'm not perfect and accepts me for who I am. I remember it snowed this year on Valentines Day, and I went to a drill team compeition to take pictures. They gave me a crappy camera, and I got pretty crappy pictures as a result. Me and Dylan talked on the phone that night: at that point we wern't allowed to date (even tho we had been going out like 5 months) becuase Dylan wasn't 16 yet. He made me a picture of a rose in paint and emailed it to me. It said "happy valentimes day" He misspelled it on purpose b/c he knew it would drive me nuts. Thats just the way we were. I loved it.
2003: HAHA! Like I'd have had a valentine. I was such a loser.
2002: Roman! No kidding! I dated this Russian kid for like two months. He was SO cute, and now he's little mr. frat boy at whatever college he goes to. Bhaha. Good times.
2001: Erik. I was so dumb when it came to this kid. He got me a teddy bear and everything. I thought he wasn't cool enough to like. Boy, I was DUMB.
2000: I was in 6th grade. It was a dry year for me, what are ya gonna do?
I don't feel like going before that, because I can't remember and I probally wanted every boy in my class to be my valentine.
Whats the point of this stupid stupid day?
I think that when I'm married, I shall ban it. I want my husband to show me he loves me every day of the year, and I want to show him, too. Having one day that everyone buys flowers and gets candy makes it so impersonal. I want him to buy me flowers on a random thrusday to let me know he still thinks I'm beautiful, and for him to cook dinner one night and send the kids to a friends house and have a me and him night. I want spontinaity, not valenines. I want my husband to see me and think "man, i love that girl, and she loves me just as much back." I want the love I have to be fierce and real enough to touch. I want to have the kind of love that when people look at us and we have been married 30 years they think that we are newlyweds. I never want to take for granted the fact that the man beside me in bed is my best friend and that he is the father to my children. I think if I am an amazing wife, he'll be an amazing husband and we'll have an amazing marriage. I want to have a beautiful family filled with love as well, and I want to teach them thru example what the true love of a marriage looks like. I don't want to fight, unless it is passionatly with lots of hugging it out and realizing we can disagree and still be madly in love with one another. I want him to sweep me off my feet and to come up behind me when I'm fixing dinner and kiss my neck and hold me tight. I want him to kiss my belly when I'm pregnant. I want him to ask my dad's premission to marry me, before he asks me. I want my mom to like him, and for him to be friends with my brother. I want to be happy watching TV and I want him to not think my feet are gross and massage them. I want him to make silly faces at our babies, and play horsie with the kids for hours on end. I want to see him in the backyard practicing soccer with our kids, and see him reading them bedtime stories before he tucks them into bed at night. I hope that he has a job where he doesn't have to be gone all the time, but if he does that he'll always come back with something cool for each of the kids, even if its as simple as a magnet or peanuts from the plane. I hope he knows that he doesn't have to get me jewlry for me to be happy, but get it for me anyways. I hope he likes what I cook and goes shopping with me at Sams or Costco on saturdays and that we eat lunch there because we are so cheap. I hope that when we have 11:00 or 1:00 church, he'll make pancakes on Sunday mornings and that on mothers day, he'll slip out of bed quitely and wake up all the kids to make me breakfast in bed, even tho I'll totally be awake and waiting by the time they come in to give it to me. I hope he'll let our little girls sit on his lap to watch TV even when they are big enough to hurt a little bit, and that he'll call them princess and show them what kind of prince they deserve. I hope he is superman, not only to our kids, but to me. I know he won't be perfect, but I hope that together we will be for eachother. I want a boy to lay in the grass and watch stars with me, not only when we are first dating, but when we have kids, after they are in bed. I want the kind of love that is legendary, but also the kind that is so ordinary you can't tell at first glance. I want a best friend and an amazing lover. I want someone who makes me feel delicate, and who treats me like he might break me. I want to feel beautiful.
I know there is a lot of I in there, but above all, I want my husband to want this much of me, and for me to fulfil it.
I know I've beeen in love before, but I think that this love, when I find it, will encompass my entire being and show me the depth and reality of love in a way I've never seen.
I am ready for it, but am willing to wait.
Waiting only helps us see what we want, and helps us relalize when we've fond something truly speaical.
Last year: I didn't really have one. I think I worked on Valentines. I don't even remember. Psh. I was working 2 full time jobs. I had no time for boys. I wish I hadn't gotten involved with boys at all until... ever. hah. My life would be so much eaiser.
2005: David. Well, kindof. He broke up with me the week before Valentines, but we still went out on the actual date. It was really odd, since we were allready broken up, but we kissed. And it was the single best kiss I've had in my entire life (up to this point) It made me weak at the knees like I have't been since. We went and laid in the arts center park and listened to all the cars go past, and a firetruck went by, and we laughed for what must have been ten minutes. It made breaking up eaiser, but so much harder at the same time, because I couldn't see HOW he could kiss me like that and still not want to be with me. It hurt, but we are friends now. He is on his mission.. he'll be back in 16 months. We write and its fun and I'm sending him a valentines present. hah. Anyways, I had an orch rehersal that night, and then we went to umm.. its closed now, oh, BDs because it was the most amazing food ever. And then we got icecream at Pachigioes and sat outside and talked for a while. The weather wasn't too cold. It was nice. Then we went to the park.. and yea. After that, we went to my house and finished up his application for BYU. He recently wrote me that I am the reason he is on his mission, and had I not pushed him to go to BYU he doesn't know where he'd be. That made me feel awesome.
2004: Dylan. So, me and Dylan dated for a year, a week and a day. He is the only boy I've ever loved for sure. I think I love Phil, but it may just be as a friend. I think I'll have to wait till he gets back to know for sure, but I KNOW I loved Dylan. He is an amazing guy. We are SO similar, and he is still one of my most amazing friends. He understands me because we share the same faith, but he gets that I'm not perfect and accepts me for who I am. I remember it snowed this year on Valentines Day, and I went to a drill team compeition to take pictures. They gave me a crappy camera, and I got pretty crappy pictures as a result. Me and Dylan talked on the phone that night: at that point we wern't allowed to date (even tho we had been going out like 5 months) becuase Dylan wasn't 16 yet. He made me a picture of a rose in paint and emailed it to me. It said "happy valentimes day" He misspelled it on purpose b/c he knew it would drive me nuts. Thats just the way we were. I loved it.
2003: HAHA! Like I'd have had a valentine. I was such a loser.
2002: Roman! No kidding! I dated this Russian kid for like two months. He was SO cute, and now he's little mr. frat boy at whatever college he goes to. Bhaha. Good times.
2001: Erik. I was so dumb when it came to this kid. He got me a teddy bear and everything. I thought he wasn't cool enough to like. Boy, I was DUMB.
2000: I was in 6th grade. It was a dry year for me, what are ya gonna do?
I don't feel like going before that, because I can't remember and I probally wanted every boy in my class to be my valentine.
Whats the point of this stupid stupid day?
I think that when I'm married, I shall ban it. I want my husband to show me he loves me every day of the year, and I want to show him, too. Having one day that everyone buys flowers and gets candy makes it so impersonal. I want him to buy me flowers on a random thrusday to let me know he still thinks I'm beautiful, and for him to cook dinner one night and send the kids to a friends house and have a me and him night. I want spontinaity, not valenines. I want my husband to see me and think "man, i love that girl, and she loves me just as much back." I want the love I have to be fierce and real enough to touch. I want to have the kind of love that when people look at us and we have been married 30 years they think that we are newlyweds. I never want to take for granted the fact that the man beside me in bed is my best friend and that he is the father to my children. I think if I am an amazing wife, he'll be an amazing husband and we'll have an amazing marriage. I want to have a beautiful family filled with love as well, and I want to teach them thru example what the true love of a marriage looks like. I don't want to fight, unless it is passionatly with lots of hugging it out and realizing we can disagree and still be madly in love with one another. I want him to sweep me off my feet and to come up behind me when I'm fixing dinner and kiss my neck and hold me tight. I want him to kiss my belly when I'm pregnant. I want him to ask my dad's premission to marry me, before he asks me. I want my mom to like him, and for him to be friends with my brother. I want to be happy watching TV and I want him to not think my feet are gross and massage them. I want him to make silly faces at our babies, and play horsie with the kids for hours on end. I want to see him in the backyard practicing soccer with our kids, and see him reading them bedtime stories before he tucks them into bed at night. I hope that he has a job where he doesn't have to be gone all the time, but if he does that he'll always come back with something cool for each of the kids, even if its as simple as a magnet or peanuts from the plane. I hope he knows that he doesn't have to get me jewlry for me to be happy, but get it for me anyways. I hope he likes what I cook and goes shopping with me at Sams or Costco on saturdays and that we eat lunch there because we are so cheap. I hope that when we have 11:00 or 1:00 church, he'll make pancakes on Sunday mornings and that on mothers day, he'll slip out of bed quitely and wake up all the kids to make me breakfast in bed, even tho I'll totally be awake and waiting by the time they come in to give it to me. I hope he'll let our little girls sit on his lap to watch TV even when they are big enough to hurt a little bit, and that he'll call them princess and show them what kind of prince they deserve. I hope he is superman, not only to our kids, but to me. I know he won't be perfect, but I hope that together we will be for eachother. I want a boy to lay in the grass and watch stars with me, not only when we are first dating, but when we have kids, after they are in bed. I want the kind of love that is legendary, but also the kind that is so ordinary you can't tell at first glance. I want a best friend and an amazing lover. I want someone who makes me feel delicate, and who treats me like he might break me. I want to feel beautiful.
I know there is a lot of I in there, but above all, I want my husband to want this much of me, and for me to fulfil it.
I know I've beeen in love before, but I think that this love, when I find it, will encompass my entire being and show me the depth and reality of love in a way I've never seen.
I am ready for it, but am willing to wait.
Waiting only helps us see what we want, and helps us relalize when we've fond something truly speaical.
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