I have this mug sitting on my desk. I put water in it in the morning and put a pill in my mouth and swallow it down with whats in the mug. I put water in it at night an do the same thing. Sometimes I wonder if I will be doing this the rest of my life. And the irony is what is on the mug: Life is good. The only way life can be good is when I fill it up and take a pill down. I have slowly been feeling more normal. I still get pissed at David a lot, but its getting to be for a reason instead of for nothing at all. And I am starting to notice how amazing he is. He opens my door for me whenever we go anywhere. He always reaches for my hand. He lets me be stupid and doesn't hate me. He got me a yellow rose with red at the tips. He is all mine.
I got SO mad today, not at him, but at this stupid girl he works with. She was apparently all up on him. And I got SO mad. I don't like that, at all. He is mine, and I want to go find that girl and punch her in the face to let her know it. I don't want anyone else even looking in his direction. I am so scared that he is going to realize that there is SO much better out that, I am terrified of it. And he knows it, and he holds my face in his hands and looks into my eyes, and lets me know that I am the only one he wants. He won't ever stop doing it, either. He loves me, despite all my flaws, and my fluffy tummy and my mood swings. He loves me even though I'm a jealous jerk and am so insecure in myself. He loves me, and I couldn't ask for anything more from him.
This summer looks like its going to be a really really hard one. As of now, he will probably be doing summer sales for apx, and will probably be on the east coast. Lame sauce. He gets 2 days off the whole summer, so maybe I'll get to see him two weekends. That would be spiffy. I'm just going to miss him a whole whole whole lot. He is my world. Geez. But, apparently, he'll make at least 10,000 bucks, minus 1,600 for rent, and if he sells 100 contracts, he gets his rent paid for. Bonus! He is going to try to sell 10 systems before he goes in April (waaaaa. Its so close!) so he can get paid even more, so if you know anyone in the greater utah area in need of a security system, let me know. :-)
I hate school, but thats not new.
I have gone to all 4 of my 8 o'clock classes. Its a miracle! We'll see how well I can do the rest of the semester. I have a feeling one morning it will be raining, and I will sleep in and catch up on my reading all day. :-)
Life is good. Someone come play with me!!