Friday, January 12, 2007

"A Private Learning Space"

So basically, I am doing this because my Pscyh class is supposed to. Its all good. I'm glad its an assinment. I love love love writing, and so this should be fun. I won't ever reveal my name or stuff, but you'll probally get to know my pretty dang well thru this. Probally I'll only be the only one who can ever read this, so pretty much, I'm writing to myself as an auidence. Word up.

SO! Lets get this journal entry started, shall we?

This past week has been great. We finally got moved into our new dorm room and the room is CLEAN! AHH! I love it, and I think being organized will help me a lot. I just need to do some home work this weekend, which is all good since I have monday off, and will hopefully get a couple of papers written. I want to get both of my religion papers done this week so I don't have to worry about religion other than worring for almost a month. That'll be pretty sweet. My classes are going to be semi-hard this semester, but they all involve writing (except my anthro class) and I don't even have tests in my Pscyh classes, which is sweet! Yay for papers!
Tonight, I hung out with Blonde Boy. Boys are SO confusing, to say the least. We are going on a date tomm night, so I guess we'll see how that goes, eh? Meh, whatev. I really do need to focus on my studies this semester.
So, I think what I'm going to do is every day this next week I am going to explain one thing about myself. Today it shall be Elder. No, thats not his real name, but he is on his mission, so thats what we'll call him.
So, Elder and I met two and a half years ago at a youth leadership congress in DC called HOBY. He has been my friend for these past 2 years and I went to prom with him my Jr Year, which is saying something since he lives a thousand miles away from me. Anyways, he left on his mission at the very end of September this year, and will be gone till probally the start of October in 2008. He is pretty much the boy I want to marry. Two years certianly is a long time, but I think in the long run, he is worth every minute. Lets be frank here, if I meet someone as good as him who is a Returned Missionary, I would totally get married while he is gone, but he is such a great guy. His letters make me giddy for a week, no joke. He is beautiful inside and out. He is tall, he has pretty eyes, and he is a really great friend, which is the most important thing I look for in a boy. I don't know exactly how it is possible for me to love him, without having ever dated him since we lived so far apart, but in the month we lived 20 mins away from eachother before he left, it was like, boom. We didn't kiss, we didn't hold hands, we were just friends. I told him how I felt, and he responded in all the right ways. He was kindof mean to me at one point, but after we talked, it all changed. He doesn't take me for granted anymore, which is totally awesome. He tells me that he loves me and that I am a great friend. He told me that he knows two years is a long time, but that he hopes it all works out in the long run. I wonder how it will work out. I wonder all the freaking time. I don't feel like I deserve him, even a little bit, but I am trying SO hard to become a better person. I am taking all the right steps to get my life in order and to become the type of girl that he deserves to marry. Its hard, but its coming about slowly. I think that maybe, someday, I'll feel worthy to have the love of such an amazing guy.
Allright, its time to go to bed.

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