Friday, January 26, 2007


I am really happy.
Content with what is going on.
I think instead of going out tonight, I'm going to go to the library and enjoy some study time by myslef.

I have really awesome friends.
Ones here (Yoko, Steph, B-lyn)
ones elsewhere (mar, rad, lala)
and even ones i have yet to meet.
Friends are definatly one of the areas in life I have been blessed with. I can make friends pretty eaisly, and I can keep them when they are important and respectful to me.

Its wierd how truthful the "You never know what you had till its gone" statement is.
At least, thats how I see it.
As humans, I think we take everything forgranted, which isn't really a good thing, nor a bad thing since we all do it. I think that sometimes, we don't take time to listen to ourselves. We only listen to what others say about our situation. We always want someone elses advice, but the truth is, they aren't us and they can't give us the advice we want/need. We really have to look inside ourselves for this.
Example: I dated David my Junior year in High School. He was a senior. I think we were togehther 3 months. I really really liked the kid, and for once, so did my parents. He ended up breaking up with me because his best friend, Katie, hated me. whatev. it was pretty hard on me because I really liked the kid and the break up came out of left field.. the week before Valentines and the Sweetheart dance at school and everything. We still went to the dance, and that was super akward, and went out on Valentines, and it was the craziest night of my life. I had rehersal till 7, then we went out to dinner at one of our fav. restraunts and got italian gelatto and then we went to our park and ended up kissing. He gave me the best kiss of my life that night. It was the kind of kiss you see in movies. My knees got weak, time slowed, and in that moment everything was perfect. That was the last time I saw him for almost a year. Then, we went to lunch and to see a movie right before he left for college, then he left on his mission about a year after that. He is an all around good guy, other than the whole breaking up with me thing.
Anyways, the point of this story is that we started writing each other a couple of months ago. He has said that I am the reason he is on his mission, and that he wants to take me out to dinner when he gets back home, and in the letter/package i got today, he sent me a collage of pics from his mission (which is actualy totally cute) and in his letter he says, "it is true that you were a big influence in my fact I talk about you a lot... like today I was talking ot Elder Wayne Christensen (my best friend for life) all about you... and I realized that you have been my favorite girlfriend/girl I know... even though we haven't really talked a lot since we broke up... " and the later says "so you're pretty much not even going to recognize me when i get home.. Elder Christensen, you know my BFF, has been showing me how to work out, and pretty much I'm going to be HUGE! In 17 months you're going to see me and be like OH, DANG! And not to be prideful or anything but you're pretty much not going to be able to resist me... HAHAHAHA" So yeah. I dunno. From my point of view, he sees now that I was pretty much the best girlfriend ever (well, I was. for real. i did everything for him!) and misses me and my awesomeness.
The complicated part: Elder.
David gets home 4 months before Elder. What if David and I start dating? Where does that leave Elder? I know that I am NOT waiting for Phil... I am just not going to get involved with anyone unless they are as good as him... and is David? Thats something that I don't know. I guess I have over a year to figure it out, since David doesn't get back for 17 more months, but its not like its something that I'm not going to worry about! Its akward, ya know. Do I tell David I have a missionary and ask him to back off a bit, even tho he's not really coming on strong or anything? Do I tell Elder what David said? Do I just go die? Who knows.
I do know that I really have to go pee and I'm going to take a bath and read my book.

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